{"title":"smartass \u0026 sass items RETIRED","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"get-lost-beanie","title":"get lost beanie","description":"\u003cp\u003eSage green beanie with embroidered patch that reads \"Get Lost\".\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Smartass \u0026 Sass","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51814045909223,"sku":null,"price":4.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0768\/4014\/1031\/files\/1_7f8a0f8f-dba0-49e4-bddc-e815dafb6445.png?v=1771876742"},{"product_id":"find-your-fire-beanie","title":"find your fire beanie","description":"\u003cp\u003eYellow beanie with embroidered patch that reads \"Find Your Fire\".\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Smartass \u0026 Sass","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51814083985639,"sku":null,"price":4.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0768\/4014\/1031\/files\/2_732dc4c5-e655-4e44-b9a8-6a010b19fec1.png?v=1771876164"},{"product_id":"carpe-f-cking-diem-journal","title":"carpe f*cking diem journal","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-text-bold\"\u003eInspired by the viral planner, this bold journal delivers snark, sarcasm, and an unapologetic attitude on every page.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSick of bland motivational journals and empty affirmations? \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-text-italic\"\u003eCarpe F*cking Diem Journal\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e is the laugh-out-loud, profanity-packed, undated journal made for adults who are tired of toxic positivity. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWith over 200 pages and 15 hilariously titled sections―like \"Sh*t to Remember\" and \"Another F Word List\"―this journal offers the freedom to vent and reflect. Its flexible design means you can start anytime and embrace self-care in a way that's fun, honest, and totally you.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003ePerfect for anyone who wants a motivational journal with zero filter, \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-text-italic\"\u003eCarpe F*cking Diem Journal\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e is the irreverent gift that turns everyday chaos into a reason to laugh and seize the day.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Smartass \u0026 Sass","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51814089130215,"sku":null,"price":4.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0768\/4014\/1031\/files\/3_8554a3fb-6e58-4aae-aa8b-4359fedb3b97.png?v=1771876312"},{"product_id":"let-that-sh-t-go-journal","title":"let that sh*t go journal","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-text-bold\"\u003eFrom the author of bestselling journals\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-text-bold a-text-italic\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eManifest That Sh*t\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-text-bold\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-text-bold a-text-italic\"\u003eZen as F*ck\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-text-bold\"\u003e, Monica Sweeney gives the gift of letting go with this journal for leaving your bullsh*t behind and creating a happy life.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHarboring grudges and plotting revenge takes a lot of energy. While the wait for one true moment of schadenfreude sounds oh so sweet, true bliss can be found in simply not giving a f*ck.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWith \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-text-italic\"\u003eLet That Sh*t Go\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e, you’ll find moments of profanity-laced catharsis and joy through journaling activities and inspirations that are positive as f*ck. Within these truly charming pages, you’ll find ways to let go of the bullsh*t and lift your spirit a little f*cking higher.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e128 pages\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Smartass \u0026 Sass","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51814092079335,"sku":null,"price":4.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0768\/4014\/1031\/files\/4_78f21f45-7e06-4c47-9193-096295fa98b6.png?v=1771876419"},{"product_id":"no-one-cares-socks","title":"no one cares socks","description":"\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003emade by snark city \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eunisex, one size fits most \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003eone socks says “shhh” and other says “no one cares” on the bottom \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan\u003e75% cotton, 21% polyester, 4% spandex \u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Smartass \u0026 Sass","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51814094012647,"sku":null,"price":4.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0768\/4014\/1031\/files\/6_9b409178-aa70-43a9-a9d3-7ca14e692596.png?v=1771876682"},{"product_id":"f-ck-off-im-coloring-book","title":"f*ck off, i'm coloring book","description":"\u003cp\u003eMade in partnership with Cider Mill Press\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThick pages\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eblank on back\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"a_GcMg font-feature-liga-off font-feature-clig-off font-feature-calt-off text-decoration-none text-strikethrough-none\"\u003e 5.875\" x 6.625\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a_GcMg font-feature-liga-off font-feature-clig-off font-feature-calt-off text-decoration-none text-strikethrough-none white-space-prewrap\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a_GcMg font-feature-liga-off font-feature-clig-off font-feature-calt-off text-decoration-none text-strikethrough-none\"\u003ex .25\"\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Smartass \u0026 Sass","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51814106202343,"sku":null,"price":5.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0768\/4014\/1031\/files\/7_7328262c-bded-45bc-8485-f97e0c060c96.png?v=1771877023"},{"product_id":"i-tried-to-stop-swearing-tea-towel","title":"i tried to stop swearing tea towel","description":"\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003emade by twisted wares ($24 retail)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eapprox. 26 x 26 inpre-washed, lint free 100% cotton premium flour sack fabric\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eextremely absorbent\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ewash in cold water with like colors\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ehang tight towel loop, stays in place and keeps those towels off the floor!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Smartass \u0026 Sass","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51814118293735,"sku":null,"price":4.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0768\/4014\/1031\/files\/SnarkProducts_1_8546c81b-c7a1-420c-8a95-8876886d9aba.png?v=1771877519"},{"product_id":"bitchin-visor","title":"bitchin' visor","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"prose max-w-none\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"text-base text-secondary leading-relaxed\"\u003eStand out at the beach or on the golf course with this funny embroidered velcro sun hat. The adjustable strap ensures a perfect fit, while the snarky \"Bitchin'\" text adds a touch of attitude to your outdoor look. Makes a thoughtful gift for the friend who's always up for a good time in the sun. This hat is totally bitchin’! Nothing like a hook and loop-back visor to highlight the turn of the century fashion. And this one is snarky to boot! So throw that hair in top knot and tell the world you are like totally bitchin’! Easy to wear. Perfect for poolside, beach, golf or any outdoor activity. Embroidered text that reads \"Bitchin'\" Adjustable strap\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Smartass \u0026 Sass","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51826531336423,"sku":null,"price":4.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0768\/4014\/1031\/files\/SnarkProducts_4bdceef1-a9bf-4828-8eef-73e02d5c4fa8.png?v=1772303754"},{"product_id":"funny-cocktail-napkins-20-pack","title":"funny cocktail napkins (20 pack)","description":"\u003cul class=\"a-unordered-list a-vertical a-spacing-mini\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"a-spacing-mini\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-list-item\"\u003eHUMOROUS- Boutique cocktail napkin with a bold, humorous message I NEED A COCKTAIL...HOLD THE TAIL is a unique paper product and conversation starter\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"a-spacing-mini\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-list-item\"\u003ePARTIES- Fun napkins for your cocktail party, happy hour, bachelorette party, bachelor party, holiday party, divorce party or birthday bash\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"a-spacing-mini\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-list-item\"\u003eSIZE- Package of 20 napkins, 5”X5” when folded; 10”X10” when unfolded and made of 3 ply tissue\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"a-spacing-mini\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-list-item\"\u003eSTYLES- All 24 of Twisted Wares napkin styles are witty a little bit sassy and always an ice breaker, while some from our “naughty” collection go just that one step more to the get the adult humor lovers at your party to LOL\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"a-spacing-mini\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-list-item\"\u003eEASY CLEAN UP- Pack comes wrapped in cellophane. 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Fancy up your dips and sauces by putting them in these easy-to-dip condiment bowls. Ceramic, 3”x1”.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBox size: 3.5\"l x 2.5\"w x 2.5\"h\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/section\u003e\n\u003c\/section\u003e","brand":"Smartass \u0026 Sass","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52187167064295,"sku":null,"price":4.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0768\/4014\/1031\/files\/S_Sproducts_3.png?v=1781146399"},{"product_id":"a-cookie-a-day-soy-candle","title":"a cookie a day soy candle","description":"\u003csection class=\"shopify-section section\" id=\"shopify-section-template--15977756197110__main\"\u003e\n\u003csection data-section=\"template--15977756197110__main\" class=\"page-width section-template--15977756197110__main-padding\" id=\"MainProduct-template--15977756197110__main\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"product product--large product--stacked 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charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eA set of hilarious cards to give your unsolicited thoughts to anyone you please\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eComes in a drawstring canvas bag\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e5 card designs, 5 copies of each (25 cards total)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eEach card has space on the back for you to fill in why someone sucks\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePhrases included: \n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHave a shitty day\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eA penny for your thoughts seems a bit pricey\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eEveryone is entitled to my opinion\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou should come with a warning label\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLet's keep the dumbfuckery to a minimum today\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/section\u003e\n\u003c\/section\u003e","brand":"Smartass \u0026 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